So...I did it!

Phew!
The Poetic Asides November PAD Chapbook Challenge is over.
I did it!

Sorry for all the poetry posts lately.
My mind has been pretty consumed trying to think of what to write for the daily prompts.
For some reason I really struggled this time.
There definitely were days I struggled to just get something, anything, down on the page.
And I did.
And that's what counts.
Now I can go back and see if any of it is worth anything, or if any of it can be reworked.

Yay!

If any of you are into writing, or want to start, check out Poetic Asides weekly poetry prompts every Wednesday. Or, you can check out the daily prompts from November or April and start your own Poem-A-Day challenge.

She Made My Day

I never expect my life to change when I do
normal things like drop my daughter off

at preschool. But that day it did when she
leaned and said, "You're doing a great job."

I tried to act like that was a normal thing
for her to say; like I wasn't surprised

to hear it. "Oh, thank you," I casually replied
while gathering my daughter and her backpack.

I held my breath until the classroom door
closed behind me. I knew if I exhaled, the tears

and sobs would come out, and there is no need
for that to be seen in public. It all gushed out

in the car while I white-knuckled the steering
wheel, trying to gain control. She had no idea

how much I needed to hear that, or how much
I worry about that. She has no idea how often

I replay that over in my head; because everyone
needs to hear sometimes, "You're doing a great job."



Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
something that will stick with you

I'm Not Ready To Be Done

I sit here and feed you
slowly rocking
and time stands still.
Time is irrelevant.
Only you are relevant.
Your warm squishy body
rosy cheeks pulsing with each swallow
twinkle eyes staring blinkless
deep into mine
like you've always known me
and don't want to miss a moment.
Neither do I.
Please stay here like this,
my baby,
forever.


Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
attachment poem

And Then She Fell Asleep

She didn't want to take a nap
without her comfort cup of milk.

I'm the Mom
and it's my job
to break the bad habits that make life easier.

I picked her up gently and held her close,
stroked her soft hair with her head on my shoulder.

I'm the Mom
and it's my job
to comfort my children when they're upset.

We laid down together for her unwanted nap.
She cried about milk, fruit snacks, and "Sleeping Beauty."

I'm the Mom
and it's my job
to calm the babes when they're sad.

I scratched her back and whispered "shh."
We took a deep breath together and snuggled.

I'm the Mom
and it's my job.



Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
"And then __________"

So...thankful poems

Thinking that Thankful Poems will become a tradition in our home.
I am so thankful for these treasures.
I am also thankful for my camera, blurry pictures and all.
I am so thankful to be able to document these precious years.

So...headband pics

Here is one of the headbands I made a little while ago.

Still don't have pics of the kiddos' bands. I made theirs with only one braid.

One of these days I'll get pictures up of theirs.

I always love finding things I can do with left over scrap material.

These are perfect.

So...more thankfuls

To add to my thankful list, I am thankful for:

1.) washable markers. The kiddos LOVE to coloring. Second Daughter especially loves to color on her body. I don't think any further explanation is needed as to why I am thankful for washable markers.

2.) extra blankets and warm slippers. Husband sleeps with a fan blowing directly at us all year long.

3.) friends. Friends that will come to the midnight showing of New Moon with me. Friends that will come over for Thanksgiving. Friends that want to set up playdates with my kiddos. Friends that I can be me around. Friends that I love to talk to.

4.) my sister. I am so thankful that I have a sister! She is my best friend and the person that I can call, anytime of the day or night, to talk about anything. There is never any judgement about anything I say or do. She is completely honest with me when I am being unreasonable.

5.) seat warmers in my car. Leather seats get very cold.

6.) Husband. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for him. He amazes me everyday and I feel so lucky that he loves me.

So...Should, Could, Would

Should, Could, Would

I could fill my days with should-do's
And I would only feel worse
About how much better I could do
If I would only do all the things
I know that I should do.

If I thought of the things that I do do
How much happier I'd be
To know all the things that I can do
Instead of the should, could, would-do's
So much more good would that do.


Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
"Should ______."

So...My lines

February 2008

My Lines

As a mother of one, I did everything.
That's how I wanted it to be.
I didn't want to miss one second.
I wanted to do everything and so I did.
I never felt overwhelmed or overworked.

My second child came.
My expectations remained the same.
I wanted to be a mom that did evertying.
I didn't want to miss one second.
I wanted to be a mom full of love and patience.
I wanted to be a mom in control.
I wanted to do it all.
I wanted to handle it all.
I wanted to be the rock that kept everything together.

As a mother of two I discovered there were lines.
I thought my tolerance level was higher
And that my breaking point was farther away.
I learned where my lines were -
When to let things go,
When to share responsibilities.
I learned that I couldn't do it all.
I learned that being a mom
Is learning to find balance
In my life
And on my lines.

Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
poem involving lines

So...on our walls

Massachusetts Sis-Inlaw took our family pictures when we were out there last August.
I LOVE these pictures of the kiddos and they are hanging in our kitchen.

If you live in MA, or are ever out there visiting, and are looking for someone to take some shots of your fam, you should give her a call.

Visit her website.

So...I don't handle rejection very well

**disclaimer: if nursing babies makes you uncomfortable, do not read.**

My plan has always been to nurse my children for 1 year.

First and Second Daughters stopped nursing around 8 months.
That was when I stopped being able to make enough milk for them.
That was when they preferred the bottle.
It happened naturally and we just went with it.

Third Daughter is 8 1/2 months old.
So far, things have looked like she would continue nursing untl 1 year.
Third Daughter has 5 1/2 teeth.
First and Second Daughters didn't get teeth until they were 10 months old.
I never had to worry about nursing toothed (is that a word?) babies.

The other day Third Daughter bit me.
It hurt.
A lot.
I gasped when it happened and pulled away.
Third Daughter started crying a very sad cry.
I touched her lips with my finger and said, "No, no! Don't bite Mommy."
She cried some more.
She finished nursing with one eye staring at me the rest of the time.

The next time she nursed, I reminder her not to bite.
When I put my finger on her lips and said, "No biting," the tears starting flowing again.
She remembered me scolding her last time.
She decided she didn't want to nurse.

Now, every time I go to feed her, she starts crying and arches her back.
She doesn't even try.
I guess we are officially done.
It makes me a little sad.

So...we have no shame

Yes, we went to the midnight show.
Yes, we waited in line for 2 hours for good seats.
Yes, we made our own t-shirts.
Yes, we are dorks.
Yes, we loved the show.
Yes, we had a blast.
Yes, we drooled a little (maybe a lot) over Jacob's abs.
Yes, I dreamt about it.

So...Not Too Shabby

I know it's been awhile...
I am excited to share another Inspiration of mine with you.

Molly over at Not Too Shabby is another lacrosse buddy of mine. I first met her at a tournament down in Las Vegas. We both played on the Utah team. Her and her sister Kate were instantly two of my favorites on the team. You know how some people you just click with right away? That's how is was when I met them. They are awesome lacrosse players, super fun to be around, so funny, and my kind of people.

I kept in touch with Molly over the years through lacrosse - through tournaments and pickup games here and there, and eventually coaching. I'm not really in the lacrosse world anymore (I don't like saying that out loud - or typing it) but Molly and I have reconnected through blogland. And I'm so glad. She is awesome.

Molly is incredibly creative. She is a very talented, self-taught photographer. She is a wonderful mother. She has an awesome sense of humor. She has great style. She is real, and that's what I love about her. Her blog is full of pretty pictures and all kinds of stuff that I like.

So here we go:

> How long have you been blogging and what inspired you to start?
I have been a blogger since May of 2007. My friend Caitlin Creer inspired me to start a blog. I was pregnant with my little girl Ruby and I mainly started it so I could log our adventure with her. Later, I started a design blog...because I figured that half the people that read my blog for an update on us...do not care about my latest Etsy finds! I have loved every minute of blogging since.

> You are such a talented photographer and I love browsing through your photography blog as well. Are you self-taught or have you have any formal training? Where do you find inspiration for your photgraphy?
Well, thank you very much! I have been very surprised by my success thus far. I have been so busy with it (Molly Jones Photography) lately, I can hardly keep up. My formal training has been: a few high school/college classes and a lot of online courses. Lynda.com has been a really great resource for me. Besides that, I relaly feel that I have just improved with practice. It is so much fun. I love being able to provide a viable service for someone. I honestly think that capturing someone's child, family, etc. in a photograph is one of the greatest gifts one can give. I am very passionate about photography and I also LOVE owning my own business. It is such a great feeling to be able to contribute financially to my little family through my own hard work/business. For inspiration, I love old hings and things that remind me of my childhood. Thrift shopping inspires me. I try to not look too much at what other photographers are doing. I want my style to be my own.

> Do you have any advice for someone who is interested in picking up photography?
Advice...take pictures, take pictures, take pictures! Think outside the box. Try to be unique. Get down to the level of your little models. Think about upgrading your camera and lens. If shooting digital, practice post processing techniques to make your images pop that much more. Don't "overdo it" in Photoshop though...too vibrant of colors, too many actions, and too much skin editing (for example) can be a mistake. DON'T doubt yourself. One recent quote that I really like is "Be brave enough to live creatively."

> I know I've said this a few times, but I LOVE YOUR STYLE. It is a very comfortable but not sloppy, stylish but not too trendy, DOABLE look that I love. Where is your favorite place to shop?
Megan you are so sweet. You have fabulous style yourself. I don't know...lately, I have been shopping more for my little girl Ruby than for myself! I honestly rarely buy clothes for myself. Let's put it this way, if I were on a shopping spree, I would love to spend a lot of time in Anthropologie, J. Crew, & Lulu Lemon. But I have also found some awesome clothes at Target! In case you are interested...I did just find some really cute new William Rast jeans that I LOVE.

> You obviously have such a sweet and special relationship with your daughter Ruby. How do you think being a mother has changed you?
Oh my, being a mother is THE greatest thing in the world. Honestly. Sure there are some downsides to it...for your skeptics out there, but at the end of the day, it is SO worth it. It is SO incredible how your capacity for love grows as a mother. I think it is very important to maintain a sense of individualtiy and independence though. My husband and I really work hard at allowing each other time to pursue our hobbies. He is so wonderful and allows me time to pursue things that I love...i.e. running, lacrosse, soccer, friends, photography, movies, etc.

> What is your motto?
Hmm...my motto? A few motto's that I like to live by are to BE POSTIVIE, LIVE IN THE PRESENT, BE SPONTANEOUS, AND LAUGH AT YOURSELF. Honestly, nothing drives me more crazy than negativity.

> Do you have anything new and/or exciting coming up on your blogs that you want us to know about?
I have been posting new photo shoots pretty regularly. And...I just might have a new photography site in the next few months. Not Too Shabby always gets a little more attention and a little more exciting in the Winter, when the weather starts going down hill...be sure to watch for some exciting things.



Thanks Molly!
One of these days we'll make up there to see you and meet your sweet Ruby.
And one of these days I'll gain enough courage to come to another lax tournament. :)

WSMGS Pick of the Week

"All Around Me" by Flyleaf
This song should be on the soundtrack of one of the Twilight movies. It is perfect.

So...it's 3:15 AM

...and I just got back from "New Moon."

Go see it.
And you'll see why I'm a Jacob fan.

So...I want it to be

Do you have any blogs on your list that you read, but you know you shouldn't?
Are there any that just make you feel bad, or make you mad, or make you wish that you didn't read it at all?

I do.
And for whatever reason, I still read them.

I should probably get some help for that.

If this blog is one of those to you, stop reading.
Please stop.
I do not want to add that kind of stress to your life.

And I don't want that on my conscience.

I started this blog when I realized that my family blog was turning into more of a Megan blog, rather than a family blog. I was adding more and more commentary and less family pictures/updates. I decided to break off and start this blog, dedicated only to my own thoughts and ramblings. That way, those who didn't care so much about what was on my mind, but cared to see pics of the beautiful babes (which is far more interesting, I admit) could go there. And those (very few, if any) who wanted, could come here.

I didn't really have any idea what this blog was going to be about. I still don't really know. It is a place I can turn to, upload my thoughts, share some writing (which still terrifies me), catalog some great ideas, crafts, recipes, etc. that I want to keep track of, and possibly connect with people who just so happened to stumble across my blog.

But even though I'm still trying to find what I want my blog to be, I do know how I want my blog to feel when and if people actually read it.

I want it to be uplifting.
I want it to be real.
I want it to be something others can relate to.

If this blog does the opposite of any of the above mentioned things, stop reading.
Stop now.
Please stop.

So...sometimes you just know

This morning as I was driving home from the gym (day 2 baby - wahoo!) I thought, "I hope Husband remembers his lunch today."

And then I remembered that I remind him every morning not to forget his lunch.

Then I wondered if he was bothered that I reminded him every morning.

So I decided I wouldn't remind him.

And guess who forgot his lunch...

Oh well. I'm always up for an excuse to go visit him at work. :)

So...Modbe Sale

Just heard today that Modbe is going out of business and everything is on sale.
You know how much I love Modbe bathing suits.

These were a few that caught my eye today browsing.
Now, if only I was an XS...


The Flounce - Pink Stripe
Knot Top

Plaid T

So...it's a miracle

Another miracle happened at my house today
(the first being me actually waking up before the sun).

Get this.

All
three
Daughters
are
taking
naps
at
the
SAME
TIME!

Given the fact that First Daughter no longer takes naps at all, this is truly heaven-sent.
Along with the cancellation of my 2:00 violin student.

HAAAAAAA-LE-LU-IA
(imagine me singing in my most horrible operatic voice)

So...

Having a hard time finding time to blog about all the things on my mind.

Here are a few:
- trying to construct some plans for the sewing project I want to do for the kiddos.
- excited about my late night on Thursday for the opening of "New Moon."
- hoping that I can keep waking up early to exercise
- wondering how people survive on less than 8 hours a sleep a night
- wondering how to get 2-year-old Second Daughter to not walk away when I'm talking to her
- love finding new blogs to read, especially this one
- having some serious writer's block just in time for the Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge
- excited about the guacamole I bought today at the grocery store and can't wait to eat it. All of it.
- love reading emails from Little Bro and have decided (again) that he is my favorite Little Bro.
- wishing I had every other day off from life. As in, every other day is a catch up day when nobody requires anything of me and I can do any or all of the following:
*sleep
*read
*clean
*shop (with money that doesn't exist and no guilt)
*watch old favorites like Top Gun, Rocky, or Ace Ventura
*sit in a quiet room and listen to the silence
*blog :)
- ok, I would even take just one day a week. a month?

So...headbands

Made some of these today and the girlies couldn't be happier.

And Mom (me) couldn't be happier to finally have a headband that actually keeps Second Daughter's hair out of her face.

Thank heavens.

So...Big Blankie

Big Blankie

I lay down beside you
for your afternoon nap.
It's the only way you will stay
in your bed.
It's a bad habit I want to keep
because soon you'll grown up
and won't need me
to sleep.
I tuck you in.
First, your little blankie
with butterflies.
Then your big blankie.
You ask for your "M"
and giggle when I find it.

I lay down beside you.
I watch you drink your milk
and fight your tired eyes
that roll back behind
your extra long blinks.
I scratch your tummy
like I always have
and then your back.
It's time to sleep now
so I roll away.
"You want some
of my big blankie?" you ask,
as you cover my shoulder
with a corner.
Your tiny body snuggles in my back.
"Mom, can you cuddle?"
Each time I smile
and always say, "Yes."
Soon I hear your long, deep,
sleeping breaths,

and I smile.

Poetic Asides PAD Chapbook Challenge:
someone who is covered

WSMGS Pick of the Week

"You're Still the One" by Shania Twain
The lyrics to this one fit my marriage perfectly, all cheesyness included.

So...Dr. Martin

Today I'm sporting the Dr. Martin's.
Yes, I did just refer to them by their full name.
I am fully aware that nobody wears the Docs anymore.
Nobody, that is, but me.
I know this because when I went looking for some new ones (yes, that's right - new ones) a few years ago, the man/boy working at the store said,
"Wow. I don't think we have those. Nobody wears those anymore."
I thanked him for the "Wow."
In my head.
That was a huge boost for my fashion confidence.
I'll take that as him saying I'm unique in the fashion world.
Not that I'm a decade and a half behind.

So...buttons

It's been awhile - I know.
Gran was here this past weekend, along with Sis-Inlaw and fam.
We had such a great time.

I actually woke up this morning before the kiddos.
Whenever that happens, it's a miracle.
If you haven't heard already, I set my alarm everyday. That's right. Everyday. And everyday, I turn it off.
But not today!
I am feeling good and feeling proud.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

So...event journal

I made the baptism journal for one of my eight-year-old friends that is getting baptized on Saturday. It's full of pretty paper, journal prompts, pockets to fill, places for photos, and empty pages for her to fill as she pleases.

I'm really excited for her and her big day.

I'm also excited about making more of these babies for future events of friends + family.

So...thankful

I love Thanksgiving.
It is my favorite holiday.
Great food + family/friends + sleep + Husband home = favorite holiday

I love the anticipation of Thanksgiving.
Everyone seems to be thinking of things they're thankful for.
I am thankful for that.
It just feels good.
I'm thankful for people being thankful.

Things that have been on my mind lately that I am thankful for:
(in no particular order)

Husband's job. I can't even say how thankful I am for that. I'm thankful that he 1) HAS a job, 2) enjoys his work, 3) feels appreciated and feels like he's good at what he does, 4) gets P.T.O. and can take days off when family is in town, 5) he doesn't travel, 6) is home almost every night for dinner.

Homemade bread. It is just so yummy and I love making it. Great combination. And I'm glad that I can make a loaf of bread to save me a trip to the store, where you know I would buy more than just the bread we need.

Great friends. Being able to talk to someone about anything, everything, or nothing at all, makes all the difference in my life. I love my friends. They give me so much strength.

Sunny November days. I just love everything about fall, but add some sunshine and I'm in heaven.

My inlaws. I love and respect Husband's family and parents so much. I am so grateful to have such awesome inlaws. I look to them often as examples and learn so much from them. They are so much a part of Husband and who he is. For that alone, I will always be grateful to them.

Choices and freedom. There is so much to this one, but I'm specifically thankful that I 1) that I can make choices, 2) that I live where I can make my own choices, 3) that I can choose to change.

The list could go on and on, but I'm going to stop there for now.
Don't be surprised if it continues another day.
'Tis the month to be extra thankful.

So...butterfly kisses

Isn't she the cutest little butterfly you've ever seen?!
I have a weakness for chubby cheeks and I just can't stop kissing these.

So...missionary in Argentina

Little Bro left yesterday for Argentina, after 11 weeks in the Missionary Training Center, to serve a two year mission for our church. My family all hopped on a conference call last night to wish him farewell and tell him how much we love him. It was the highlight of my day. Probably of the week. Little Bro is one of my most favorite people in the world and talking with him is one of my favorite things to do.

I couldn't help but think about him all last night and this morning. Today he is in Argentina and is probably already with his companion, maybe already out teaching people. I can only imagine how he is feeling and what he is thinking.

Little Bro serving a mission is such a great thing for him, for the people he's serving and teaching, and for my little family here in Provo, UT. Thinking about him (and Husband's Little Bro who is serving in Spain), what he's doing, what he's teaching, and who he's teaching, brings a wonderful spirit into our home and into my life. It helps remind me of the truly important things in life - the gospel of Jesus Christ, eternal families, serving others, obedience, love - and motivates me to share my testimony with those around me. Missionary work is awesome and Little Bro is my hero.

For those of you who have served missions, what is that first day like? How does it feel? How has serving a mission changed you?

For those of you (like me) who have not, how has having someone close to you serve a mission changed you? How have you been blessed by missionary work?

So...what I learned about blogger today

I contribute to many blogs.
Up until today, all of them have shown on my profile.
I didn't like this so much.

I wanted a way to direct readers to this blog when they viewed my profile, but So Buttons was second to the bottom of the list of blogs listed on my profile. How was anybody supposed to know to pick that one out of the list?

Plus, I wasn't so sure that I wanted everybody and anybody to have access to all the blogs I write on - especially my family blog. Most of the people who read this blog are friends and family so I'm not so worried, but just to be safe...

So this is what I learned today.
How to show only the blogs you want to be shown on your profile.

1.) Go to your dashboard on Blogger and click "Edit Profile."

2.) Click "Select blogs to display."

3.) Check all the blogs you want to display (these will show on your profile) and uncheck the ones you don't. Make sure to click "Save Changes" when you're done.

There you go!

So...thinking about fathers today

"In order to strengthen the father in the home, I make two simple suggestions: first, sustain and respect the father in his position; second, give him love, understanding, and some appreciation for his efforts. . . . “In terms of giving fathers love and understanding, it should be remembered that fathers also have times of insecurity and doubt. Everyone knows fathers make mistakes—especially they themselves. Fathers need all the help they can get; mostly they need love, support, and understanding from their own.”

- James E. Faust