Showing posts with label buttons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buttons. Show all posts

Thursday, April 17, 2014

So...Killing Me Softly

So...this allergy season is killing me.
Killing me.

I don't know what is in the air that my body so badly dislikes, but I feel like I want to itch my eye balls with sand paper half of the day.  And the roof of my mouth.  And the inside of my ears.  I haven't worn makeup for about a month now and it's kinda funny how many people ask me if I'm OK when they see me.  The no-eye-makeup-swollen-watery-eye-balls look is not so flattering and kinda makes me look like I've been crying for weeks.  I don't really have an excuse for the hair, except that if I'm not going to do my makeup, why do my hair?  Or get dressed for that matter? :)
This is my logic.

Which reminds me...

Whenever First Daughter catches me in the bathroom getting myself dolled up, she always says, "you look prettier without makeup on, Mom."  It is the sweetest thing.  I love that she knows and sees that beauty is more than a pretty face.  I hope that she always remembers that. 

She also caught me this week checking Facebook and she said, "You're on Facebook?  I thought you didn't do Facebook."  It may have just been me, but I thought I heard a hint of disappointment in her voice.  I admit, when she said that, there was a part of me that wished I had stuck to my anti-facebook commitment.  I want my kids to know that it is OK not to be doing the same things that everyone else is doing.  That's kinda what my not-being-on-Facebook thing turned into, but now that's not there.  Hmm... I may have to reevaluate this decision...

Spring break was last week and it was so nice to have some time off and some good weather to enjoy.  It got us all very excited for the summer.  I'm a lot less organized coming into this summer - no camps or swimming lessons lined up - but we do have one big family vacation/reunion that we are very much looking forward to. 

I'm getting the feeling that this summer is going to be a regrouping time for us - a time to get into a rhythm around here and for me to get a handle on things again.  We could use some focus-on-our-family time.  Son #2 was born right in the middle of a very busy time and then school started right away and we've kind of just been holding on for the ride all school year.  We've been getting by and getting to where we need to be and doing what we need to do, but we're still in survival mode and it will be nice to restore some sort of order (as much as we can).  I keep looking for more and more ways to simplify our lives and opportunities to teach our kids to find fun wherever they are and to be content with their circumstances.

I'm working on this myself - learning to be content, see the abundance, and be filled with gratitude.  I love everything about my life.  It is definitely not perfect, but it is beautiful and wonderful and full.  I'm not always good about remembering this, but I want so much to be better at it.

I don't know how I got so lucky, but I am married to the most amazing man.
He is my most favorite thing in the whole world and my greatest blessing.
My kids are too, but they can be annoying sometimes...believe it or not, Husband never annoys me.

Except for when he goes and loses 40 lbs. in 2 1/2 months without doing anything except eating less - that's kinda annoying, I'm not gonna lie, but I love him anyway :)

And speaking of annoying...
You know what's annoying?
Allergies.
I'm so done with them.



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Thursday, March 21, 2013

So...My Own Little Rant About Rants

Sometimes I wish there were more people out there talking about the great things about life and the world we live in instead of all the messed up, corrupt things that need to change. 
Don't get me wrong - I'm all for speaking out, spreading awareness, and working to change things that need to be changed, but I think we all could use a higher dose of optimism, contentedness, and gratitude. 
Words of encouragement and inspiration that are productive and can help make things better, not just words that point and stare and whine and complain about the things we are unhappy with.

Life is pretty great - how very imperfect as it is.
Our world is full of so much greatness. 
Of course there is darkness, sorrow, and horrible things - I'm not trying to minimize that truth.
But there also is joy, love, and goodness.  So much more than what is discussed, written about, or sought after.
Remarkable things happen every day!

I want to hear/read more about that.
I would even like to hear/read more of the stories about people making the changes needing to be made rather than just rants and complaints about what's wrong with the world and what everyone is doing wrong.  It just gets so exhausting to read about all the time and really is just a great big downer.

This is one of the reasons I so look forward to Conference every six months (which is coming very soon!).
Words of encouragement, inspiration, and direction that can uplift me, give me productive, inspired instruction, and help me keep the proper perspective on the things that really matter.

Anyway - that's really all I have to say about that.



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Thursday, February 28, 2013

So...Inspiring

I am so inspired by the people around me.
There is so much good and so much love.

I have seen many acts of service - large and small - being performed without any desire of acknowledgment or recognition.  Lots of people trying to fill needs where they see them without any thought of their own needs or desires.  I have seen people making sacrifices willingly for the sake of their neighbors and friends.  Cleaning, watching kids, bringing in meals, sharing services and skills, listening, laughing, raising funds, and everything in between. 
An outpouring of love that is so inspiring.

I have also seen so much gratitude and humility.  People accepting these services with grace and gratitude.  Many just plugging away at life without any expectation of help or relief, but so thankful for what is given.  Anything given.  I have seen gratitude for things large and small, people so thankful and touched by anything and everything people are able to give.  Showing thanks with a note, a hug, a smile, a thank you, some tears, or a treat. 
An outpouring of gratitude that is so inspiring.

There is so much good in people and I love seeing it.
It inspires, uplifts, and motivates me to be a little better and do a little more.



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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

So...This Time of Year

Normally, this time of year I am sick of the winter.
I am sick of the cold and just done done done.
This year, I'll admit, I still am not in love with the cold, but my perspective has changed a bit.

Lately I have seen this time of year in a different light.
Lately I have seen the hope this time of year brings instead of the dreary.

It's amazing what one sunny day can do.
It can still be 30 degrees outside, but the sun brings people out of there houses, puts smiles on their faces, and brings a little extra optimism.
Sunshine is a powerful thing.

The longer the cold lasts, the more a little sunshine is appreciated.
A sunny day is a symbol of hope.  Hope of the Spring that is right around the corner.  Hope that things will get a little better and a little brighter.

I've been through enough winters to know that no matter how bad it is, no matter how cold it is, no matter how much snow falls and stay on the ground, Spring will come.  Warmth will come.

I love all the seasons.
Some I may love more than others, but I really do love all of them.

Right now I love the way the cold air feels in my lungs when I take a deep breath of fresh air.
I love the magic of falling snow.
I love the excitement in my children when they get to build a snowman or a snow angel.
I love how my kids freak out when I put my cold hands on their warm cheeks.
I love the warm fires burning at night.
I love the extra blankets and the cozy sweatshirts and socks.
I love the longer nights with my family at home.
I love the days when we get a peek at the sun and how magnificent it feels on my face.

I am super excited for Spring - yes, oh yes I am - but for now I am loving the winter.

P.S.  Mom & Dad - if you feel the burning desire to take me with you the next time you head to Miami in February, I'd be ok with that.  I don't love winter that much. :)



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Sunday, December 9, 2012

So...On The Chalkboard

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here.
Every where we go.
 
 
 
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Monday, October 29, 2012

So...Spooky Spiderweb, Ghosts, and a Smile

Found this spooky, and beautiful spider web on our front porch.
 
When the sun comes over the mountains in the morning and hits it just right this is what we see.
Incredible.
I honestly was surprised not to see "Some Pig!" written in it.
 
Third Daughter and I completed treats for her preschool Halloween party tomorrow.
12 hot chocolate kits.
Hot chocolate is Third Daughter's favorite.
 
The idea was hot chocolate and a ghost peep.
We went to the store and no peeps in sight.
Next we tried for pumpkin marshmallows we saw a couple weeks ago.
Again, all sold out.
So, we settled for giant marshmallows with ghost faces drawn on the bag.
 
I was worried they looked more like Christmas treats than Halloween treats, but luckily when Third Daughter saw the first one she said, "Ghost marshmallows?!"
Phew!
Three year old are pretty honest.
I'm glad she saw the ghost.
Hopefully the other 11 preschoolers see it too.
And hopefully they forget about these ghosts when they get their "snowman" hot chocolate kits for Christmas.  :)

And just because it's Monday, here's a giant smile to brighten your day.




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Thursday, May 24, 2012

So...Right Now

Right now I am loving::
::kissing and hugging and snuggling my beautiful baby boy.
::spending lots of time with the kiddos piled in my bed watching cartoons.
::that I don't even care how much time we spend doing that.
::enjoying time with the babe.
::staring into his amazingly blue eyes (I always wished for a blue-eyed babe!)
::that I can get Son to laugh when I pinch his leg rolls or tickle his sides.
::how responsible Second Daughter is being with her glasses.
::how she asked me to rock her in the big blue chair tonight.
::taking a walk down the street to the gas station with First Daughter.
::that school is out tomorrow.
::having Auntie Q and Uncle O around.  they are fun.
::warm summer nights.
::cool breezes blowing through our windows.
::flowers planted along our walkway.  I'm enjoying them while they're alive :)
::reading The Help.
::going to the gym.
::Third Daughter telling me she loves me.
::everything about this bubba --


This weekend I look forward to::
::going on an overnighter with Husband.
::getting sleep.
::sleeping in.
::sleep and more sleep.
::did I mention sleep????
::movie night with the kiddos.
::Sunday.
::summer vacation officially beginning.
::snuggling some more with Baby Boy.

Life is so good.
And right now I'm loving it.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

So...The Anatomy of Peace


Right now I'm reading The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute.
It's a good read.

The book talks about boxes - boxes we put ourselves in, boxes we put others in, boxes we carry around with us - that cause us to view people as objects rather than people.

I hope I view my children as people.
I know that sounds silly, but read the book and you'll know what I mean.

I hope I don't view them as objects that get in my way, stress me out, or keep me from doing things I want to do.  It would be terrible to feel like your mother saw you as an object rather than a person.

Sometimes I have those feelings - I'm definitely not a perfect mother or person - but I'm constantly trying to understand how my kids are experiencing the world, especially our interactions with each other.  I try to remember what it was like to be a kid.  I try to see things the way they might, and then try to explain things in a way that would make sense to them.

Again, I am definitely not perfect at this, but I'm working at it and learning a lot.
This book is great.
I'm sure it will be one that I will return to over the years.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

So...8x10s

We have frames on our walls, like most people do, filled with annual pictures of our kids.  I love having updated pictures of the ones I love on the walls of the hallways in our home.  It makes the place feel cozy.

I rotate the pictures about once a year.
Today was the day.
There's something about freshly printed photos that feels so special and a little exciting.
Plus, it was time to get a photo up of Son.

But this post is not about the pictures on the wall.
This post is about what I do with the pictures that come off the wall.
It's not anything fancy, or earth-shatteringly original/creative, but it is very practical and very functional.  And it's a great way to keep those pictures organized.

You ready?

Here's my secret.

I put them in a binder.
And it looks like this:


Nothing fancy, nothing special, nothing impressive - but one of my most prized possessions.

I got the idea from a dear friend of mine who keeps a very similar binder.  She is oh so smart, so I copy her ideas.

I love having a collection of photos of our family over the years.  All in one place.  A photo diary.
And I love how simple it is. 
Take the picture off the wall, then put it in the binder. 
No embellishments, no layouts.  Just simple.


The binder is divided in sections:
Family Portraits.
Christmas Cards.
First Daughter.
Second Daughter.
Third Daughter.
Son.

Simple.

I've also put important documents in there - i.e. my diploma, our pedigree charts, other certificates.  The binder has become a family history book of sorts.  At least until I have the time (and motivation) to do anything more.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

So...2011 Buttons

So... I missed my bloggy birthday back in December.
I normally would have done a recap of the previous year - a "best of" if you will.

Looking back at the posts of 2011, I was on quite a roll until it all just stopped. Pretty abruptly.
Most of it was the move, and the pregnancy, then the miscarriage, then the next pregnancy, and just the craziness of life with young kids.

Blogging definitely took a backseat for the second half of 2011.
And though it hasn't quite found itself quite back in the front seat, it's starting to pop its little head up here and there.

So...in the spirit of blog celebration, here are some of my favorite posts from 2011.


January 2011:: I kicked off the New Year playing Bananagram with First Daughter, got some priceless portraits from my mom, made some MLK donuts, thought about blogging, and had a slumber party in the living room.
February 2011:: I spent most of February participating in the free joy of LOVE photography class, I wrote away about writing, I had a strong desire, a selfish debate, and a secret, celebrated my birthday valentine, and had a waterfall in our freezer.
March 2011:: We moved!, the kiddos played Magic Treehouse, I shared the best mix ever, what's in my bag, our love story in a guest post, and a thing I'm learning through motherhood.
April 2011:: I blogged about seeing the joy, shared a good news minute, discovered that I am the mother, shared more thoughts on motherhood here and here along with a disclaimer, and spent a spring morning on the trail.
May 2011:: I learned that writing helps, started training for another half marathon, celebrated mothers' day, and lost a lot of pictures, poems, and writing.

Which made me lose a lot of blogging momentum.

After that I posted twice in June.
Once in August.
And then shared a few things I was thankful for in November.

Even though 2011 was really only half full of blogging, there were quite a few good ones while the streak lasted.
Here's to another year of blogging and looking forward to more to come!

Thanks for reading this little blog 'o mine.
I'm gonna keep lettin it shine.



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Saturday, February 25, 2012

So...Tag

I always enjoy a good tag (when I actually sit down to do it).
And so I decided to take Julie up on her tag, even though I am pretty busy smoochin' my babykins. :)
And let me tell you - his cheeks are oh-so-smoochable.


This is a little tricky since I have already posted 200 things about me. There can't possible anything else interesting worth listing, but I will try. And I have no idea if I'm repeating myself because even I didn't read through my list of 200 things about me.


1::I'm afraid of falling of bridges on the freeway. I always cringe a bit when I drive over one. I worry that I might get in an accident and fly off, the bridge might collapse, or I might just drive right off the edge.
2::I developed a fear of heights with age. This doesn't help my fear of freeway bridges.
3::I like to drive without any music on.
4::I like to run without music too.
5::I believe the music album is a dying art. No thanks to mp3's. Boo. There's nothing like listening to a great album start to finish.
6::I always leave the tab to my soda cans up after I open the can, and then poor the soda into a glass of ice. The soda tastes better that way.
7::I make pretty good homemade pizza. And spaghetti sauce.
8::My least favorite color is red.
9::My current favorite color is grey.
10::I dream of having a wood burning fireplace. I would build a fire everyday. Even in the summer.
11::I love the smell of bleach. And laundry detergent.
(from Julie)


1::What is the best (your favorite) book ou have ever read and why?
I am so not good at answering questions about books. I'm not good at remembering details and I'm not good at vocalizing what I like about them. I just know when I like them and when I don't. I'm also bad at picking favorites. Some of my favorites are Harry Potter series, Hunger Games, Catcher in the Rye, Siddartha, the Giver. I like books that have really great, memorable characters and that I can pick up and put down easily (but that I don't want to put down).

2::What is your favorite meal to cook?
Hmm...interesting question. I love cooking yummy foods for special occasions. It makes me so happy when people like what I make. I think my favorite meal to cook for my family is steak, oven fries, and veggie (broccoli, zucchini, or asparagus) because everyone loves it and everyone eats it. That makes me happy.

3::If you could live in any other era which would it have been?
This is a great question. I would have loved to live in the mid to late 1800s, through the turn of the 20th century. So much changing. So many exciting things happening in art, music, politics, religion. Oh man, I would have loved that.

4::Who have you been told you look like?
Britney Spears or Helen Hunt.
One person said I looked like Celine Dion. Completely random.

5::Favorite TV show?
LOST. And Friends. And Wonder Years.

6::What brings you inner peace?
Being sealed to my family in the temple for eternity.

7::Tell me something you're good at.
I'm really good at playing Speed. You know, the card game? I'm really good.
And guiatar hero.

8::Ever chopped your hair super short?
The shortest I ever cut my hair was an A-line to my chin.

9::What is included in your perfect day?
A full night sleep. Waking up early (but not tired). Going on a run. Having Husband home. Going on a long walk on the river trail or in the mountains. Having some quiet time to write in my journal or write poems. Orchestra rehearsal. Lacrosse game. Snuggling with my kiddos. Going on a long drive listening to Dave Matthews. Lying on the grass in the sun. Taking a nap. Another walk at dusk. Cuddling with Husband on the couch with the fire going and a movie on. Quiet nights. Sitting on the porch or going on another walk under the stars. Snuggling in to a warm, cozy bed and falling asleep to a favorite movie - like Braveheart, or Rocky, or Romeo & Juliet.

10::What piece of furniture in your house is your favorite or are you the most happy with?
Our couches. They are leather, they are huge, they are comfy, and every seat reclines.

11::If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go, who would you go with, and how long would you stay?
Europe. Husband. As long as it took us to see all the sights in England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Germany, Spain, Austria, Italy. But especially Italy. I don't know...at least a month.



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Thursday, February 23, 2012

So...A Time and A Season

Well, hello again.
Is anybody still there?

I know it has been quite a long time since my last post, and my blogging has been on and off for a year or so. I know, I know.
But I haven't completely forgotten this little blog 'o mine. It hovers in the back of my mind, waiting for a little inspiration and motivation, and recently has been lacking results. I just haven't really had much to say - or much motivation to say it - in a while. To be honest, I'm not really sure why. I have some ideas, but not exactly sure what flipped my blogging switch off.

My best explanation is, I just haven't needed blogging as I have needed it in the past. Blogging, at times, has been a very positive thing for me (as I mentioned here and here). It has been a creative outlet, a way to connect with people, a way to "speak" my mind, a way to process things I'm going through, a way to document my going-on, a place to write. All good things.

At different times and different seasons, blogging has served different purposes. And for the past year or so, I have been in an off-season of blogging. I haven't really felt the need or desire to blog, and so I haven't.

Will I ever blog like I used to? I don't know.
Will I ever quit blogging completely? Most likely no.

Do any of you really care? Probably not. :)

But don't be surprised if you see me pop in and out of bloggy-land.
I may drop in every once and a while to share my thoughts when I feel like it.
I may go through blogging feasts, and blogging famines.
Because like everything, there is a time and a season.
Even blogging.

And seasons come and seasons go.
{{cue music}}

And while you're sitting around waiting for me to post something (because I know that's totally what you do...) check out my friend Hannah's new blog Majoring in Me and Christina's Bee a Little Better.



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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

So...Morning on the Trail

Photobucket
{Husband & I on the bridge, 2003}

We took our first walk on the river trail yesterday morning.
The air was cool on our cheeks and our breath was warm. The water was high and sparkling from the sunlight peeking out from the clouds. There were blossoms and baby leaves reaching over the trail hanging off the tree branches. Through holes in the canopy I could see the melting snow topped mountains. I could hear birds chirping and my girls chattering in the stroller. I smelled spring - water, grass, and growth. The moment was sweet. The type that makes me want to stop, press pause, and take it all in.

My eyes were drawn to the magical water flowing next to us and I couldn't help but think how beautiful it was. It kept rushing past faster than I wanted it to. I wanted to reach down and hold a piece of that beauty in my hand for a moment, but I couldn't even if I tried.

And I thought, life is kind of like that.
Sometimes it feels as if it's rushing by - too fast to grab a hold of.
Sometimes it is so beautiful, so serene, that I can't help but pause and take it all in.



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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

So...Good News Minute

Photobucket
I'd like to take a minute {or two} to share some of my good news::

#1
::we have unpacked lots of boxes. it feels really good. way better than packing.
#2
::the mountain of empty boxes no longer resides in our entry way. {{sigh of relief}}
#3
::we have successfully finished painting two rooms, and have picked colors for almost all of the other rooms. yay!
#4
::today i did my first normal household chore! i cleaned the bathroom. and i never thought it could feel this good.
#5
::i can park in my driveway. no more ginormous trailer. sweet.

We are loving our new house. It suits us nicely and I love dreaming about what it will become someday. It is very exciting {and a little weird} that I can actually picture my kids growing up in this house. Not that I'm anxious for anyone to grow up anytime soon, but I know it's bound to happen...

Now, who's gonna come and visit me?!

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Friday, March 18, 2011

So...In The Bag

I've never been a very tidy person.
Cleaning always has, and still is, a chore.

I try really hard to keep my house clean.
I prefer my house to be clean and tidy and orderly.
It helps to reduce stress, and so I try.
Sometimes I do an OK job.

But there are two places that never are clean.
1::my car.
2::my purse.

Today I cleaned out my purse.

If it's true that you can tell a lot about a woman from what's in her purse, I'm not sure what this says about me... {my purse loving friends are probably going to question our friendship right about now}

Photobucket

This is what I found -

::1 pair of mittens
::2 hats
::wallet
::phone
::2 magazines
::2 old shopping lists
::2 tampons
::lots of crumpled receipts
::lip gloss {I was looking everywhere for this!!!}
::2 pair of socks
::1 book
::headband
::pampered chef chip clips
::expired coupons
::old perscription {never filled}
::recipe for pumpkin choc. chip muffins
::flower pin
::toy butterfly
::3 squishies
::2 rocks
::broken crayons
::pen
::22 cents
::crumbs
::matchbox car
::six small toy animals {cow, sheep, dog, lion, moose, pig}
::lots of changes and misc. things stuck under the lining of the purse {???!!!}

I felt like Marry Poppins with her bottomless carpet bag.
All I need is a lamp.

I don't think I need to say that most of the things were removed from my bag and transferred to the garbage.

This is all that's left::
Photobucket

Besides the jingling of random change that I can't remove from the lining of my purse, I feel like a new woman carrying my organized {and much lighter} purse.

Now I'm good for a few days until my purse gets trashed again.
Then it's survival mode until next year when I clean it out again.



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Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

So...16 Favorites

01::scheduled posts lined up in a row.
02::books about writing.
03::writing about writing.
04::old friends that are still around.
05::celebrating two kiddos birthdays.
06::falling back in love with blogging.
07::budding tulips.
08::hearing an old favorite song on the radio.
09::quiet time alone in the house.
10::sleeping in sweatpants.
11::fireplaces.
12::red mango.
13::the way Third Daughter says, "Peese, Mom-mom."
14::a king sized bed
15::dreaming of springtime.
16::moving into a new house.



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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

So...Projects in the Works

::I've been brainstorming a new blogging project for a little over a year now. Debating whether or not to finally take the plunge. As if I need another blog in my life. But I am excited about my little idea and can get carried away thinking of all the possibilities.

::Trying my darnedest to get a writing project going. I have a few ideas storming away in my brain, but nothing down to take off running with. I'm overflowing with desire and intentions but lacking in results. Just fragments. But I do believe that one of these days it will all come together. I do. I really do.

::Daydreaming about projects in our new home. Attempting to prioritize and thinking realistically about timing. It all can't happen at once. I might be most excited about the Daughters' room, that may or may not feature this shot.

::Considering Project::Playdays. No electronics required. Or allowed. We have been spending too much time infront of the TV and the computer and it's time to take some action. I may be the most excited about this one.

::Compiling a Learning Letters book for the kiddos. Of course this requires us to finish M-Z. Perhaps we should get on that...one of these days. {For the record - I found this concept/idea on No Time For Flashcards}

::Making a file of pictures to print for Third Daughter's baby book. After all, this is the year to start and finish it. I can't wait.

What are you working on this winter?
Any projects lined up for Spring?


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::So...31.1 Done been craving another race.
::So...I'm Making Progress some projects from 2009.

Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

So...A Playlist

Bring Me to Life::Evanescence
I Don't Wanna Be::Gavin DeGraw
All Around Me::Flyleaf
When I Look At You::Miley Cyrus
Undiscovered::Ashlee Simpson
The Reason::Hoobastank
Viva la Vida::Coldplay
Only One::Yellowcard
Love Me for Me::Ashlee Simpson
I'm in Love with a Girl::Gavin DeGraw
Everytime::Britney Spears
Bubble Toes::Jack Johnson
When You're Gone::Avril Lavigne
Alone::Heart
Hanging By a Moment::Lifehouse
The Climb::No Doubt
Chasing Cars::Snow Patrol
My Immortal::Evanescence
You and Me::Lifehouse
Another secret about me::I am a high schooler at heart.
Oh, and::I'm an Ashlee Simpson fan.

There is something very appealing to me about getting in the car, popping this baby in, and just driving. These songs speak to a part of my soul that doesn't get much recognition these days. I am a grown up now after all.

Some of these songs are from my past; some are more recent; all would have served as much needed therapy for my overactive teenage heart.

I made this mix for a friend of mine, but the truth...it's for me too.
Anyone want a copy?


So...you may also like:
::WSMGS Pick of the Week let it rock.
::Dave & Meg's Wedding Mix over at wsmgs.
::So...A Summer Mix Giveaway still playing in our car.

Thanks for stopping by!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

So...A Secret

You wanna know a secret about me?
I can be pretty insecure.
Especially when it comes to friends.
Or I should say, losing friends.
And for good reason because it's always my fault.
At least that's what the insecurities tell me.

I care too much. I don't care enough. I said something stupid. I offended her. She must think I'm selfish. I would if I were her. I talk too much. I should've said this. I shouldn't have said that. I talk about things that don't matter. She must think I'm shallow. And superficial. I would if I were her. I whine too much. I complain. I'm high maintenance. I draw too much attention to myself. I show off. I'm a know-it-all. She must think I'm self-centered. I would if I were her. I make her feel uncomfortable. I'm such a downer. I'm too needy. I'm too independent. I'm such a dork. I'm insensitive. I'm ignorant. I'm not fun to be around. I make her feel bad. She must not want to be my friend. Because I wouldn't. If I were her.

It's right about then that I take a deep breath and yell "SHUT UP!" in my mind.
Enough is enough.

Friends come. And friends go.
Some friends come because of circumstances.
Some friends come because of convenience.
Some friends come because they were meant to.
Some friends just come.
Some friends last forever.
Some don't.
Sometimes for no reason at all.
I hope to keep friends as long as they'll stay.
Because if I've learned anything from life and from trials - friends can make all the difference.

So when a friend falls out of my life, for whatever reason, I try not to let my insecurities get the best of me. I try to mentally wish them well, all the best, and all that jazz. Then I focus on all the friends I have in my life and I thank God for them. They mean the world to me. Honestly and truly. They mean the world.



So...you may also like:
::So...Eclipse! only a true friend would... :0)
::So...The Drama oh! the drama.
::So...Childish this would be an example.

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, February 18, 2011

So...A Selfish Debate

{The following is a frequent debate I have with myself about many things::including taking my kiddos to the gym}

The balance between selfishness and selflessness as a mother is tricky at best.

Of course, motherhood by nature is a selfless calling. The main focus everyday is the health, well-being, education, and happiness of your children. There is much responsibility placed on the shoulders of mothers to take care of everyone else in the household. Being a good mother definitely requires sacrifice and selflessness. We often hear of mothers always putting everyone else first and herself last.

Somehow, us mothers can get it in our heads that our success is measured by how much we sacrifice for our children.
Is this true?
Is it possible to over-sacrifice?
I think so.

Complete and total selflessness doesn't quite work. We also often hear if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't take care of others. Taking care of yourself requires an element of selfishness. There is a time when mothers have and need to put themselves first in order to take care of themselves.

Sometimes, I believe this can be taken too far.
Is it possible to be a selfish mother?
I think so.

So where is that line?
How do I know if I'm being too selfish or being too selfless?
Are there times when I need to be selfish?
When is that?
How do I know?

Like I said - this balance is tricky at best.

I think the answer is different for everyone.

Everyone has different limits and capacities.
Everyone has different ideas on what it means to be a good mother - or even on what it means to be selfish.
Everyone has different children with different circumstances.
There is no way to measure your selfishness or selflessness against another mother. There is no way. And the truth is, you'll probably just make yourself feel bad if you do that.

The more experience I have in life as a mother (and just as a person), the more I realize a major part of happiness, success, and everything in life is finding balance. Balance is the key. It is the key to motherhood on so many levels, but it is especially when comes to selfishness vs. selflessness.

Both are required to be a good mother.
Both are required to be a good person.

A rule I try to measure myself by is asking "is this making me be a better mother?" {note::not a good mother} If the answer is yes, than it is a good thing for me to be doing (even if that means staying up past midnight on a school night with my girlfriends). If the answer is no, than obviously it's not a good thing. If the answer is that I am no better or worse a mother for doing whatever it is I am wanting to do, than it doesn't matter whether or not I do it.

I know it's a lot easier said than done.
But I guess most things are.

Like I've said before, the hardest things in life seem to be the most worth it.
And for the sake of everyone involved, this balance is something worth finding.



So...you may also like:
::So...My Lines trying to balance on my lines.
::So...My Day Job it's not always easy. but it's definitely worth it.
::So...Budgeting Calories a different kind of balance, but it applies just the same.

Thanks for stopping by!