Wednesday, April 20, 2011

So...Things I'm Learning Through Motherhood::03

03::Be who you want them to be.

This one can be hard. And overwhelming. And daunting.
But it's true.
And it's important.

The first time I heard First Daughter yell at Second Daughter is when I realized the impact my actions had on her. I mean, I knew it, but in that moment I understood it. I witnessed it. How could I put her in time-out for yelling at her sister when I had yelled at her? I did, but I shouldn't have. She was just following my example.

Another time when First and Second Daughters were playing house, First Daughter said, "I'm the mom! Go to your room right now!" I was speechless. I even intervened and asked, "Is that what you think moms sound like?" First Daughter said she didn't know. I felt horrible.

I tell my children to be kind, patient, sharing, forgiving, loving, understanding, thoughtful, inclusive, slow-to-anger, hard-working, faithful, grateful, content, humble, etc. etc. I can tell them what to be all day long, but am I showing them?

Am I these things? I'm trying to be. But like all things, I am not perfect.
Am I showing them how to be that kind of person? I hope I am. I want to be. I'm trying to.

A couple weeks ago during the LDS General Conference, I heard a wonderful talk about teaching your children what to be instead of only what to do. It was so powerful to me. It is so easy to get caught up in teaching the what-to-do's and the what-not-to-dos. That's part of the mom's job description - to teach right and wrong. But am I teaching the what-to-be's?

The reality of my responsibilities is not only to teach right and wrong do's, but right and wrong be's. I want to be teaching "Don't hit because it's mean and hurtful" not just "Don't hit."

Because really what I'm doing here is trying to raise children into responsible, respectable, and respectful human beings. I want them to choose the right because it's right, not because it's what Mom told me to do. And how will they know {and believe} that something is right if I'm not living it myself. I mean, how confusing is that?

Being the example is way more powerful than saying the words.
If I want my children to be something, I need to be it too.
After all, I am the mom.

And hopefully, one thing I am showing my kids, is how to say sorry, keep trying, and to be a little better everyday. may also like:
::So...Things I'm Learning Through Motherhood::01 everybody has limits.
::So...Things I'm Learning Through Motherhood::02 i am the mother.
::So...Seeing the Joy a choice.

Thanks for stopping by!


Hannah said...

My husband I have listen to that talk 5-6 times since you talked about it on my blog. It is great and has made me think about parenting in a whole new way.

I love this post, as always.

Tanya (a Taste of T) said...

I loved reading this. Great advice for a soon to be mom :)

Spencer and Ashley said...

Thank you for that!! I needed it!