Tuesday, April 5, 2011

So...Seeing the Joy

I have a confession. Remember this post? Well, let me tell you what really happened that day.

I was having one of those days. A day when I my kids were pushing me beyond my limits and I didn't have enough patience. A day of feeling like a terrible mother, with no motivation to be better. A day which I wanted to be over.

I sat down at my computer that afternoon to vent. I sat down and started furiously typing away about how hard it is to be a mother; how sometimes I just want a break; how I'm sick of doing everything for everyone; how no matter how hard I try I can't get my kids to listen to me; how I might just throw something if one more little person whines at me to do one more thing for them. And that's how that post started.

I typed and typed {and cried a bit}, took a deep exhale, and then concluded with "I love these girls." I sat there and stared at the screen. That was the truth. Even with all the other emotions exploding and flying all around, the bottom line is I love these girls.

And so I highlighted, and deleted. Everything except "I love these girls." And I went on from there. That is how that post was born, and many others like it.

I have gone back and forth with my feelings about blogging. This blog has evolved in the little over two years that it's been in existance and I think it has finally found it's purpose. To help me see the joy.

I've heard many complaints {and even felt the same myself at times} about how blogs aren't really reality. Sometimes it's exhausting and a bit annoying to read blogs that paint a "picture perfect" mother and/or family. Sometimes it is discouraging to read. Sometimes I react by thinking "that's not real life! Nobody's that happy and that perfect all the time!"

But I'm realizing that choosing to focus on the positive and uplifting instead of dwelling on the negative and discouraging, does not make you fake or dishonest - it shows your strength, faith, and determination to find joy in life. I really do believe that. And I am determined.

I'm sure there are people that read this blog and think I am fake. I'm sure there are people that think my life and thoughts as a mother are not realistic.

The truth is, I do not disclose everything I do, think, and say on this blog. I make plenty of mistakes and bad choices in what I do, think, and say. Everyday. I have plenty of moments when I whine, complain, cry, and yell. {Just ask my husband and friends} I have plenty of moments when I choose not to see the joy. But this is something I am trying to change.

I want to see the joy. I want to be positive, uplifting, and encouraging. I want to be happy. I want to show my faith in Jesus Christ by my actions. And I do believe I have the choice. Everyday I try. One choice at a time.

So...you may also like: ::So...Hope my faith brings me hope. ::So...Quotable i want to grow. ::So...Critical i want to notice the great things.

Thanks for stopping by!


Hannah said...

I so agree. Blogging is personal. And if you want it to be only about the positive feelings and aspects of your life, I think that is even more wonderful.

Your blog is very uplifting because of what you choose to focus on.

marykaye said...

one of the best posts you've ever done.
I totally agree with you about allowing (and not apologizing for) your blog being a positive place (or negative or neutral or whatever you need it to be) Did we talk about this? I think most of us blog for our own reasons and once we start blogging (or doing anything else) for reasons other than our own sincere truth-then it (and we) become(s) inauthentic.

Christina said...

I loved this. I think focusing on the good is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves in life!

Quinn, Allison, Rylee and Cailyn McNamara said...

love this. love you. you're a great example to me in so many ways.