Thursday, January 2, 2014

So...On Looking Upward

::my motto for 2014::
I always am excited when January comes around and it's time to set resolutions for the new year to come.  I'm very motivated by goals and improvement and moving forward.  I am a goal-oriented, achievement-driven person and so resolutions suite me well.
But this year, I haven't really been feeling it. 
I've found myself at the end of 2013 stuck somewhere between accepting myself for who I am and being ok with where I'm at and what I'm capable of, and striving to be better, constantly improving, and measuring up.  It seems like the two struggle to coexist in my mind.  How can I be content and still pushing toward change?
The best thing about 2013 by far is the birth of Son #2.
He is one of my greatest achievements and so he alone made 2013 a great year.
But to sum up 2013, I would say it was a humbling year for me.  It wasn't my best year, but it wasn't my worst either.  It was a transitional year and that is ok. 
I've been reevaluating how I measure my own worth and where I look for reassurance and validation. My confidence was shaken a bit and some areas of my life I felt good about were rattled a little.  Some experiences left me more prone to finding validation for my faults and struggling to see my strengths.  I saw my capabilities and limitations in a new light and came to a realization that I might not be as great as I thought I was.  Not to be dramatic or depressing or anything - it just was a humbling year and a major reality check for me.
It's been a regrouping and rebuilding year and hopefully I have grown from it. 
I'm looking forward to moving forward.
And so, while thinking back on 2013 and looking forward to 2014, I've decided not to make any resolutions, but to commit to the motto of "look upward and not outward for approval."  I am feeling very done measuring my worth by the feedback I get from people around me - the positive and the negative, spoken or unspoken.  The only approval and validation I want and need (and all that really matters anyway) is from God.  He is who matters and He is the one who can rebuild my self-confidence and help me move forward to become my best self. 
I'm already excited.
This is going to be good.  I can feel it.
2014 is going to be a good year. may also like::
::So..Hello 2013 last year's resolutions.
::So...I Resolve 2011 resolutions.
::So...Fablehaven Quote i really love this.
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