So...I Want to Be

I have been thinking a lot recently about a lot of things.
I have been observing the way the Daughters talk to each other, react to each other, and how tolerant (or intolerant) they are with each other.
I want to be the best example and influence I can for them.
I know that is the best way I can teach them.
My actions will speak much louder than my words.

I want to teach them how to be thoughtful, helpful, and kind.
I want to teach them how to be part of the solution not the problem.
I want to teach how to be grateful and to not complain.
I want to teach them how to let things go and forgive.
I want to teach them how to look for the good and give the benefit of the doubt.
I want to teach them how to be loyal and dependable.
I want to teach them how to love and how to serve.

And the conclusion I keep coming to, over and over again, is -
the best way to teach them is to be what I want them to be.
And not just with them.
With everyone.
I know that the girls watch and learn from all my interactions.

I worry that my weaknesses and shortcomings are being learned by our kiddos.
I'm positive I'm not the first or last parent to feel this way.
Sometimes I wish I had been better, and was better now, for their sakes.

But the truth is, being a parent has brought out things in me I didn't even know were there.
I have learned so much about my limitations and abilities in the seven years I've been a parent.
But what greater motivation to learn and improve than for the welfare of my children?

Being a parent is a remarkable experience.
It is such a challenge and such a blessing.

And so I guess my point in all of this is that I'm realizing that something's gotta change inside of me.
These qualities I want so badly to teach my children, and improve on myself, are so much more than actions and words.  They are deep set characteristics that come from a genuine feeling of love for others and desire to do right - which I feel like I have, but I still have some pride and selfishness to weed out of there.  I mean seriously, who doesn't?

So...here's to trying.
Here's to changing for the sake of my children.
Here's to loving others and to becoming a more positive person.
I totally believe people can change.
And I believe these are changes worth making.

And to quote the book I'm reading::
"I'm doing pretty good already, and I'm just at the beginning."



So...you may also like::
::So..The Type of Person poem.
::So...My Strongest Desire as mother to her.  another poem.
::So...Things I'm Learning Through Motherhood::03 be who you want them to be.

Thanks for stopping by!