Wednesday, November 2, 2011

So...I'm Thankful

Today I am thankful for patience.

Patience is a virtue I am constantly trying to acquire. I'm never quite sure if I get it. It seems the more patience I exercise, the farther my patience is tested and pushed just barely out of my reach. It often feels right at my fingertips, but just far enough away that I can't quite grasp it.

The idea, I think, is that as it is challenged it will be stretched and therefore it will grow. I hope this is happening. I pray everyday for more patience than the day before, more patience than I feel I have, and more patience that my family deserves. I go forward with faith, believing and hoping that my little successes can be magnified through my efforts and desire to be better.

But that's not the patience I am thankful for.

I am thankful for the patience of others.

I am not perfect.
In fact, I'm no where close.
I make mistakes all the time. One's I really wish I didn't make.
I say stupid things.
I hurt people's feelings.
I yell at my kids.
I don't do things I know I'm supposed to do.
I don't do things I know I want to do.
I can be thoughtless.
I can be careless.
I can be selfish.
I get frustrated with others.
I can get pretty down on myself.
I complain.
Sometimes I even whine.

And I very easily can get frustrated with myself and all of these things that I do that I wish I didn't. I get frustrated that I can recognize these things that I do that I don't want to be doing - or the things that I'm not doing that I want to be doing. I get frustrated and discouraged that I'm not succeeding at changing, or that I can't see my progress.
I don't have very much patience with myself.
(And if you don't either, read this talk - it's so very good.)

But I am incredibly thankful for the patience that others have with me. I am thankful for their forgiveness and unconditional love.

Patience, I believe, is one of the most genuine forms of love.

I am thankful that they can look past my flaws, mistakes, and weaknesses (even when I can't) and still be my friend. I am thankful for their example. It is so helpful and motivating to have inspiring examples of patient people in my life.

Husband is the ultimate example to me - of so many things, but especially patience.
He is patient with me, through my mistakes and weaknesses, but also through my struggle to be patient with myself. He hears my complaints, my discouragements, my frustrations, my struggles, my sadness, and listens very patiently. Repeatedly. He doesn't get frustrated with me. He listens and tries to help, even though I know he doesn't relate to the same feelings I struggle with. He loves me, and I feel his love for me all the time. Unconditionally. To say that I am thankful for his patience is an understatement.

And I am incredibly thankful (though this merits it's own thankful post) for the fact that through the love and patience of the Savior, I can try again each day to be a little better. Through and because of Him, my weaknesses can become my strengths.
I truly believe that.
And for that I am thankful. may also like:
::So...Thankful Poems

Thanks for stopping by!


scooping it up said...

I just got a little weepy. Thanks for sharing. I really related to this, especially about being grateful for other people's patience with me. I need it...

MommyMert said...

Beautifully put. Welcome back. I miss reading your thoughts.

Raw Mormon Mommy said...

Thanks for your honesty in sharing about this. I think so many feel the same. It the progressing that makes all the difference and eventually we will be perfected through Christ. I think you are wonderful!

Becky said...

I feel the same way. You put it very well. My husband is the same patient even though he doesn't relate to what I feel most of the time he tries to understand and help...and mostly just listen.

Thanks for sharing personal thoughts. Helps me.

Love you Preg Meg!