Tuesday, October 16, 2012

So...The Irony

The funny thing about my previous post/quote is I think way too much about everything most of the time.
This is a gift and a struggle all at the same time.
But I have been told in blessings numerous times that I have been blessed with a keen mind.
It is a blessing, although sometimes it is hard work trying to remember that.

I spend a lot of my mental energy trying to figure out how to be better - how to be a better mother, how to be a better wife, how to be a better friend, how to be more faithful, how to be more obedient, how to more fully understand, how to come closer to God, how to be a better cook, how to have a cleaner more organized house, etc. etc. 
I think (I think) most women are this way. 
Trying to constantly improve and progress. 
Trying to give more and need less.

Sometimes, though, it gets pretty exhausting.
Focusing too much on the improvement can sometimes leave me feeling not good enough. 
In this mind set I can easily look at my life, and all the things I want to improve on, and think "man, I'm not really doing well at anything, am I...?"
Obviously this is not a productive thought, and it opens a door to a deep hole of negative self talk.

Lately this phrase keeps coming to my mind:
"You can kill any good thing by overthinking it to death."
(I think I made it up, but it sounds too good to be my own words...)

Sometimes I do this.
Ok, maybe a lot of the time I do this.
I am trying to take a deep breath, and stop.
I'm trying to just be.

I was really impressed by Elder Uchtdorf's talk during General Conference last weekend that addresses this predicament of mine.

"Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it."

I am working so hard at this.
I am trying to not let my desire to be better, to progress, interfere with my happiness of my current situation and abilities.
I am trying to give myself a break.
Hey! Maybe even think of myself less!  (how's that for a novel idea?)

In the words of my dear, sweet, wise husband whom I deeply love -
"Don't take yourself so seriously."

I am trying Sweetheart, I sure am trying.
Thank you for being patient with me through the process and for loving me so very much.


MommyMert said...

Thanks for the reminder.

Spencer and Ashley said...

My thoughts exactly! I hadn't read your post when I that very same quote on my most recent post. I wanted to give some back story, but the quote is all I have for the moment!

Christina said...

I can relate to this a million times. Love reading your thoughts!