Tuesday, February 28, 2012

So...Let's Talk About the "F" Word

Oh...what to say about facebook?
I have felt for quite some time now that I need to get off the facebook.
I need to kick that habit.
There are a few good things about facebook, but I'm becoming suspicious as to how much I really need these "good" things.It is a good way to stay connected with people that I couldn't (or wouldn't) otherwise - i.e. friends from home, family, people I don't see on a regular basis. Just this month I was able to collect a long list of addresses I had lost all thanks to facebook.
Facebook is also a great way to communicate with people and coordinate events. It is funny to me how much easier it is to get a hold of somebody through facebook. Easier than even reaching them on the telephone or knocking on their front door! Facebook is a convenient (and sometimes the only) way to communicate with people.It also is a great way to interact with people that I wouldn't normally interact with. (Again, that seems very funny and very strange). There are people in my neighborhood that have said more to me on facebook than they have to my face. In some ways this is probably not good, but in some ways it is good. There is interaction and a relationship on some level that might not have been there without facebook. Facebook can be an ice-breaker.But seriously, does the "good" facebook have to offer outweigh the bad?
Or...is facebook the only avenue to these good things???I have a serious love/hate relationship with facebook.
Actually, I don't really love facebook at all.
I guess it's just a hate relationship.And it's not that I hate facebook.

I just hate how much time I spend on it.
I hate the negatives that come with it - misunderstanding, offenses, judgements, self-comparison, misrepresented reality, annoying people, etc...
I hate how those negatives can have so much power over how I feel.
Ok...I hate how I let those negatives have so much power...
It just totally isn't worth risking hurt feelings. Mine, or anyone else's...
I hate how I can't walk by my computer, or pick up my ipad, without taking a quick peek and sweep over my newsfeed.
And I hate how much time my kids see me in front of my computer. And doing what? Reading about and looking at stuff that doesn't really matter. Giving facebook attention instead of them.
Oh how I hate that!

And I hate that even though I want so badly to not give so much of my time and energy to facebook, I STILL DO! I hate, hate, hate that the most!
I haven't deleted my account because I hate to think that I lack that much self-control.
But who am I kidding? I lack that much self-control.
I have felt for a long time (at least a year) that I need to delete my account, but I keep thinking of reasons not to. It is the most rediculous inner-battle that I have had in my life. Seriously. It kind of makes me mad thinking about it. There are so many wonderful people on facebook. I don't think it's bad that people are on facebook. I worry about making some sort of statement or judgement by deleting my account. That is not at all what it's about for me.For me it's about eliminating something that has taken time away from things I want to be doing, time away from becoming the person I want to be, and time away from the people I love the most. Because I lack self-control, I need to eliminate. At least for now.The fact that it's even hard for me to delete my account and let it go, tells me how much I really do need to delete it.And so...for my last status update:

"Whenever I follow my 'gut' it always feels like the right thing to do.
why, then, is it sometimes difficult to follow?
seems like a no brainer...just do it."
And her I am.
Doing it.

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Thanks for stopping by!


Hannah said...

I totally hear you, Megan. I actually deleted my account because I felt guilty for feeling negatively about some people over their status updates. The time-wasting issue was also a problem, but my biggest beef with it is that it turned me into a judgmental person.

I have much kinder thoughts when I deal with people in person. haha.

Autumn said...

I've thought so many of these things too. I wish I were as brave as you. You have inspired me though, to look at Facebook once a day and to only subscribe to family/very close friends. Maybe one day soon I can follow suit. I hope you'll keep blogging or we'll have to have more get together's so I can hear what you're up to! :)

Lexi said...

I hear ya! I now have some very strict rules for myself regarding facebook use. I won't hold it against you for deleting your account ;) but I will miss you.