Tuesday, February 22, 2011

So...A Secret

You wanna know a secret about me?
I can be pretty insecure.
Especially when it comes to friends.
Or I should say, losing friends.
And for good reason because it's always my fault.
At least that's what the insecurities tell me.

I care too much. I don't care enough. I said something stupid. I offended her. She must think I'm selfish. I would if I were her. I talk too much. I should've said this. I shouldn't have said that. I talk about things that don't matter. She must think I'm shallow. And superficial. I would if I were her. I whine too much. I complain. I'm high maintenance. I draw too much attention to myself. I show off. I'm a know-it-all. She must think I'm self-centered. I would if I were her. I make her feel uncomfortable. I'm such a downer. I'm too needy. I'm too independent. I'm such a dork. I'm insensitive. I'm ignorant. I'm not fun to be around. I make her feel bad. She must not want to be my friend. Because I wouldn't. If I were her.

It's right about then that I take a deep breath and yell "SHUT UP!" in my mind.
Enough is enough.

Friends come. And friends go.
Some friends come because of circumstances.
Some friends come because of convenience.
Some friends come because they were meant to.
Some friends just come.
Some friends last forever.
Some don't.
Sometimes for no reason at all.
I hope to keep friends as long as they'll stay.
Because if I've learned anything from life and from trials - friends can make all the difference.

So when a friend falls out of my life, for whatever reason, I try not to let my insecurities get the best of me. I try to mentally wish them well, all the best, and all that jazz. Then I focus on all the friends I have in my life and I thank God for them. They mean the world to me. Honestly and truly. They mean the world.

So...you may also like:
::So...Eclipse! only a true friend would... :0)
::So...The Drama oh! the drama.
::So...Childish this would be an example.

Thanks for stopping by!


thescotts said...

I LOVE this Megan. You are a great person and I am so glad to call you my friend. I love you!

Hannah said...

I think everyone can relate to this post. I love it too. You are a wonderful friend. I'm so glad that we live close and have been able to become friends.

Kelly said...

Oh my...how many times I think those same things. Thanks for sharing.

MommyMert said...

I have similar insecurities. I am grateful for your friendship (BFF's FOREVER! hahaha... I will get us some necklaces. ;) ) I am grateful I feel peaceful and comfortable in our relationship.

Autumn said...

You are so good at writing what you're feeling! I feel lucky to call you my friend.

Lexi said...

I say all the same things to myself. Thanks for sharing.

Terri said...

I Agree with all the above!! Why do girls think like that? I know my husband hasnt thought those thoughts before. Iam cursed. Megan my sweets, I love you. From the day you moved in to this neighborhood, I knew I loved ya! Thanks for your comforting and inspiring words.

...with ♥, SB said...

know that you are not alone in this insecurity field. I too feel the same at times.