Thursday, May 6, 2010

So...craziness and silent treatments.

Feeling very much at wits end today. Not really sure why. Perhaps it's because Husband isn't home yet when he usually is 2 1/2 hours earlier than now. Perhaps it's because I wish so badly that my limits were farther away than they are. Perhaps it's just because.

I feel myself swallowing a lot of impatience and giving the silent treatment in an attempt to avoid yelling. I don't like when I'm like this. There really is no reason for it. My children are wonderful. I still pretty much have control over my days. I have plenty of opportunities during the day and at night to do things I want to do. There really is no reason.

As much as I love being a mother - and I honestly and truly do LOVE it - I still get a little crazy some of the time. Sometimes, more often than not, for no reason at all. Maybe that's just part of the job.

I hope I do an OK job at hiding it from the kids. Alright, let's just be honest. I know that I don't. But I hope I at least show less craziness than I actually feel. And I hope and pray that they still can feel, through all the craziness and silent treatments, that I do love + adore them. Because I really do.

And I thank the Lord everyday that I get to be their mama.


MommyMert said...

I think the silence would have been better than my short tempered answers and snips I gave tonight. :( Feel bad asking for their forgiveness, and feeling worse when they give it so willingly. Ahh... love being a Mom. Its harder than I planned for all different reasons. So glad for your honest blogs. xo

Autumn said...

I've felt a little crazy the past few days too. Blamed it on PMS, but am so glad to have sweet, forgiving little kiddos. That's a good idea to give silent treatment instead of yelling. I'll have to try that.