Maybe Baby - Tenaya Darlington

So, I finished Maybe Baby by Tenaya Darlington tonight. Interesting read. I was sceptical at first, and almost stopped reading it. And that's saying something because I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to entertainment. I can only think of one book that I didn't finish because I didn't like it. Usually I stick it out - once I've committed to reading I'm in it 'til the end.

So I kept reading. And it surprisingly got better. I was intrigued with the story and wondered where the author was going with it. The story is about a "typical" (I guess - that's how it was described in a book review....?) dysfunctional family from the Midwest. The main characters are the parents, Rusty & Judy, who are pretty much trying to come to grips (or are in denial, depends on how you look at it) about their three "off" children that didn't turn out quite like they expected - one wannabe rockstar son, one homosexual son, and a daughter that wants to raise a gender-neutral child. The story ends up focusing mostly on the parents dealing with the concept of having a gender-neutral grandchild and what that even means. Like I said, interesting read...

I think the book was supposed to be funny. I guess I can see how it could be funny. There definitely were funny parts, mostly because the characters are all pretty extreme, but the story seemed more funny in a tragic kind of way...? None of the characters were redeeming. None were very likeable. None of them seemed very happy with the life they had chosen. And the relationships, or more like lack of relationships, that these characters had with their own family members was very sad to me. I guess by the end of the book I kind of starting sympathizing for the parents because they did seem to try and connect with their kids and understand them even though they did not agree with their lifestyles. I can imagine that being a hard thing to handle. I give them credit for trying at the end, but I'm not sure how convinced I was that anything was really going to get better for these characters.

The concept of the book really made me think. Especially with so much talk in the world about gender and it feeling sometimes like gender is being removed from our society. The concept of raising a gender-neutral child (how you even could do that is a whole different discussion) was very interesting to think about it. I kept coming back to the feeling that it was very selfish of the parents to want to do that, to take away that part of their child's identity to make a political & social statement. Taking away gender seems like it was only confuse a child more about their identity and how they fit into the world. Teaching a child appropriately about gender and helping them feel comfortable and confident about their place in the world seems like it would do more good then removing gender completely. I mean honestly, how could you even do that? Eventually they would have to interact with a world of men and women, and the child would know that they were one or the other.

I don't know if I'm making any sense, but I guess the bottom line is this book made me think. And it made me feel even more strongly about the importance of gender and the responsibility I have as a parent to raise and nurture my daughters to be strong, confident, women and teach them what it means to be a woman - regardless of what society expects from them as women. I know it will be difficult to shield them from gender stereotypes as they grow older, but removing their gender completely is definitely not the answer. I just need to give them the right tools and help them know where to go for the right answers when they are trying to figure out who they are and how they fit in the world - as women.